Saturday, December 11, 2004

Team America: F**k Yeah

[UPDATE: YOU MUST SEE THIS; there are no words for how perfect it is. Kudos to INDCJOURNAL.]

You heard it here first: The film Team America: World Police is going to upstage the election.
I just came from the premiere at Grumman's Chinese. Stunning.
It's funny. A Hollywood crowd guffawed throughout.
But more importantly, the film defangs the Anti-War Hollywood Left at an important time; not only will that faction be powerless to sway any more undecided voters in a certain 18-25 age band, but Kerry may actually lose votes, via guilt by association.
Stop reading now, unless you don't mind being told a few details from the film.
Sean Penn, who a few days ago went into a Falcon/Snowman
hissy fit condemning the South Park guys for a Rolling Stone interview, is killed by the puppet American commandos in the film, for joining the terrorist squad organized by North Korean short-man Kim Jong-Il.
A who's-who of antiwar actors are portratyed in the film - as puppets, against their will - each being part of an egotistical new world council, the Film Actors Guild. FAG. Again and again, the film identifies the members as being part of this group. It's FAG against Team America.
Tim Robbins gets killed, as a terrorist sympathizer. So does Susan Sarandon. And Liv Tyler. And Janeane Garafalo. Helen Hunt is sawn in half. Martin Sheen buys the farm. George Clooney gets a bullet. The Matt Damon puppet is a terror 'tard, and is terminated with prejudice.
Alec Baldwin is shot by Kim Jong-Il, for being an ineffective terror supporter. Hans Blix is also killed by Kim. Eaten alive by sharks.
Michael Moore is portrayed as a fat socialist double-fisting some hot dogs, with ketchup and mustard running down his face. Of course, he dies. Suicide bomber.
There is projectile vomiting, puppet sex and ample islamo-fascist death and taunting.
All of this, to the stated theme that Americans may be dicks, but liberals are pussies, and terrorists are assholes. It goes from entire scato-sexual weltpolitic is built from that playground humor.
And...Spotteswoode. WTFIT?
Why does it upstage the election? Because the Hollywood Left are portrayed as morons. In a pop culture language that will resonate with young teens through adults.
The fireworks should begin in a few days, when at least one actor/actress portrayed as a FAG (or, a felllow traveler therewith) will simply not be able to contain himself. He will take the bait and pick a fight with the South Park creators, and the movie. Very publicly. Good for the Box Office...hmmmm, interesting Fahrenheit tactic.....
And that silly complaining actor will find himself being laughed at, not laughed with. Why? Because he's arguing against....puppets.
His political position? Laughed at; guilt by association.
A stunning evening. The Center/CenterRight has its own untouchable Hollywood oracle. How strange is that?[update: clueless wonder-reviewer at WaPo - yes, the political capital of the nation - cannot see through his left goggles:

Stunned by all the fun, I am almost moved to salute Parker and Stone for their nuanced and careful takedown of American jingoism and the seemingly disastrous foreign policy that Team America stands for.
Only that isn't quite how it played to an audience on Tuesday night, at one of those free-ticket radio station giveaway previews [code: an audience of morons, who don't have a Masters in French literarture, like me] in a packed cineplex in Northwest Washington. The biggest laughs came when "Team America" assaulted any and all concepts of ethnicity, or when the joke was on gays, Michael Moore or a vast left-wing idiocy. The movie feels like an elaborate inside joke [known only to me] on the very Americans laughing hardest at its easiest gags, oblivious to the sly, allegorical digs at a USA brand of bravado. [Yes, those laughing folks just don't understand that they are being mocked...] What I took as a lampoon of Bushworld seemed to be received, in the seats around me, as a triumph of Bushworld. Pollsters and campaign workers, take note: "Team America" will only further confound your election-year data.